Yep. It's Mirandomness time.

I think I need one of those voice digital recorder things...I'm sure there's a fancy and more accurate name for what they are, but frankly I am tired and don't feel like googling it. Near the end of last week, all these thoughts kept popping into my head for things to blog about. But here it is, Saturday night and I'm having a hard time remembering what they are. So bear with me...

- I'm really, really fortunate to have a smart child. No, I really am. Sometimes as I am dropping my son off at school, I feel like I am a total fraud. We're usually squealing into the drop off lane with literally seconds to spare and Logan is finishing his juice box or something right before they open the car door. I consider it a GREAT accomplishment if I remembered to sign his "agenda" and a milestone if I've returned paperwork/homework/special projects/field trip permission slips/book orders on time. I'm talking MONUMENTAL, people. Single parenthood is like being perched precariously on the tippy tippy top of some slowly crumbling mountainside. Luckily I've been able to claw at branches on my way down and am hanging on for dear life, but I'm terribly fearful that the branch will give way or that there will be nothing left for me to cling to if I keep falling. But I digress...Logan brought home his report card on Friday. WAY to GO little dude! Above average in just about everything - with not much help from me, honestly. He's such a good kid (albeit rather uh...energetic...these days) and I am more than blessed to have him in my corner.

- Recent news headline that caught my attention - Single Mother of 6 gives birth to octuplets.
That one really needs no follow up or explanation. But really?
Double U - Tee - Eff Lady!

- I thought working out was supposed to give you more energy. That's a big load of bull. I've been working out 1-2 hours a day 4-5 times a week, and I want to die. I'm so tired that last night I feel asleep around 8:45. ON A FRIDAY NIGHT.

- What defines addiction? Anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm really curious.

- I was driving today, admiring my fingernails that have been painted black just to bring out my emo side, when I realized how freeing it was to give JL the big heave ho. I have loved him for 10 ish years, in spite of the judgment and mockery. It's been a bit heavenly to wear skull tee shirts, get more tattoos, pierce my nose, change my hair (a lot), paint my nails black, and be myself without the mocking undertones of discussion around each one of those events. Ahhhh, self...meet yourself. It's lovely, isn't it?

PS...it's about 11pm, and I've had to edit this about 42 times since I posted it due to various typos and grammatical errors. You may recall that I am EXHAUSTED all the time (I blame the YMCA) so I apologize if I've overlooked any others.

Oh the cruelty...

My family members have taken to posting old pictures of me on Facebook. A few of them have been a little embarrassing, but this one just makes me sad. Anyone know where a girl can get a good deal on some hair extensions??

I was about to comment that I can't figure out why in the world I'd ever cut off such beautiful hair, until I remembered that I donated it to Locks of Love...and I guess that's a pretty good reason.

But still. It makes me sad. *sniff*

PS...

I'm moving! I took the teeny tiny house.

Next up on the being stable and domestic attempt list:

A puppy.

And then I probably should figure out how to cook without a microwave...

Be Kind, Rewind...

Remember when I said I was justatinylittlebit over my job?

I was just kidding!

In all seriousness, I heard this information on the radio this morning I was driving to work: That approximately 60,000 job cuts are about to happen across the nation in companies like Home Depot, Sprint Nextel and Caterpillar Inc. In all honesty, I haven't been affected much if at all by the economy. My job is stable, my company is doing decently well and I'm living life pretty much how I've always lived it. (Maybe even a little better!) But people around me are being affected and it's starting to hit me how fortunate I am. I was never interested in the Senior Care industry or even in Health Care really - I stumbled into this job, and at times like this I feel very, very fortunate. Because I'm not going anywhere anytime soon unless I do something completely foolish and am asked to leave. (Like blogging about my job while ON the job...oops)

So let me retract my ungrateful statement and just put it out there that I am extremely happy to be working in this field and in a position that I am generally content to be in.

Static

This morning on the way to school, Logan was talking to me about being forgetful.

He said, "It's like my brain is a TV and the cable goes out"

HAHAHAHAHA.

If that's not the most accurate analogy for what goes on in MY head most of the time, I don't know what is. Sounds like I may have passed that down the gene pool...

Did I mention I'm ADHD?

I have new hair. Again. I decided it'd be fun to look at the many different hairstyles of Miranda over the past few years. :) Yes, I realize this is absolutely ridiculous...because this isn't even ALL the different hairstyles. I have issues.

It almost makes me miss my blonde hair. For those of you who wonder, I AM actually a natural blonde and decided it'd be more fun to be a brunette. Let me assure you, blondes DO have more fun. I'm easing my way back into my blondeness...

"What" is a four letter word.

Today is one of those days I just scratch my head and think, "What?"

This is why I should never accidentally watch the news. Don't get me wrong, I love knowing what's going on around me - I probably love it too much. I used to be obsessed with combing CNN and MSN for news headlines. The problem with this is I'm stuck reading article after article on truly tragic happenings. And as a semi pessimist (which is a new label for me, I've decided - I've always considered myself to be an optimist) I find that entrenching myself in tragedy basically sucks. I mean, I'm the girl having a panic attack under the overpass because I'm positive it's about to collapse on my car and bury me alive. Someone like me has no business reading about those events actually HAPPENING or how innocent children are being tortured and abused. And I'm a fixer in my heart - I have grand thoughts on making a difference in the world, about changing people from the inside out, about rescuing victims from their abusers. But at some point, it's just plain overwhelming. I begin to lose faith in humanity - I can't understand the reasons. I wrestle with my spirituality and my faith in God.

OK - pause. I know God never promised us a rainbow filled and cotton candy existence. I know struggle and opposition are part of the plan. But tell me it's not hard to doubt God when you read about a toddler who was murdered by her own mother. It leaves me feeling dark and wondering why - and wondering what. Seriously, WHAT is this all about? What is any of it about? How does one remain optimistic in the midst of pure chaos?

All right, let's move on from the depression.

I'm over my job justatinylittlebit. I love Human Resources - I love my coworkers, and I'm freakin fortunate to have fallen into a recession proof industry. But let's face it - I'm completely burnt out. I run the entire HR department...because I AM the entire HR department. This definitely has its perks, don't get me wrong - but the recipe for the employee that I'm trying to find is IMPOSSIBLE. There are lofty (and that's an understatement) goals to reach this year and I'm feeling overwhelmed. So besides work and Zumba kicking my ass, the good news is that the adorable little mini house in Indian Trail is mine for the taking if I so wish. Indulge me please, and look how perfect it would be for my mini family.


So I'm figuring out some final details to see if it will be a good fit for me for the next few years - we shall see!

In other news - anyone know where a girl can blog anonymously?? Hehehe. I have stuff to say!

We had a snow day!

I can't very well begin my blog without at least ONE picture of Logan enjoying the snow we got here at the beginning of the week. He was so excited to have a tiny bit of snow to play in - and by play I mean scrape off my car. Personally, I hate the snow with a red hot passion of a thousand burning suns and could be happy if I never saw it again in my life. (Possible side effect from living with 6 months of winter in Vermont for 25 years of my life??) Regardless, I attempted to be not SO much of a "snow grump" so I wouldn't burst his happy bubble of cold weather...

It has been SO cold here (No, not as cold as Vermont, I'm aware...) and I've realized how much of a sunshine girl I am. Thoughts of moving home to Vermont are fading quickly as the temperatures here begin to drop. I forget how much snow and ice make me CRANKY. Here's a picture of my feet in front of my space heater at work. I really use one! Even in the summer!

This week has been nutty crazy - snow days, and school delays, coming face to face with some issues from my past, house/apartment hunting, punching out my aggression in Zumba classes, telling an ex to TAKE A HIKE (THAT felt great!) and basically just trying to keep my head above water. At the end of December I was so excited for January 2009 to arrive because I just knew it was going to be the start of a great year. So far it's been a WEIRD year, but I'm still holding out hope for goodness.

Beautiful Boy

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans

~John Lennon

My beautiful boy turned 8 on January 1st, and yes I'm almost a full week late posting about it.

I have always laughed at those who wonder where time has gone, but I am now that person. How did my 8 lb, 5 oz bundle of chubby wrinkles turn into this tall and lanky boy? Replacing the pull ups are boxer briefs. Bob the Builder has been abandoned in favor of Tony Hawk. "Little Boy" haircuts became a thing of the past once the mohawk was discovered, the iPod triumphs over Disney CD's, and I'm left wondering where time has gone.

I almost can't see the chubby little baby that used to be, in the mischievous grin that is. I remember holding you for the first time in my arms after a tumultuous pregnancy. I remember months of sleepless nights, and how it felt leaving you at daycare for the first time. I remember what a nightmare it was to potty train you, and how you almost burned our apartment down when you were 3. I remember your nail polish mural painting at 4am, and I remember your ability to write your name in permanent marker on EVERY SINGLE SURFACE. I remember sending you off to kindergarten, and how you told me loudly that it was time for me to leave. You were and are so independent in so many ways and I am constantly amazed at your witty sense of humor and sarcasm, your genuine love for learning and your desire to know God.

The innocence of childhood flees so quickly and unexpectedly and I pray that you hold on to yours as long as you can. I pray for you to be steadfast and patient, to seek truth and light, to show kindness to those around you and to always strive for more. You are such an amazing addition to my life, and have taught me so very much about unconditional love.

Happy 8th Birthday, Beautiful Boy!